Dave Hop ‘Right you lot,’ Gideon addressed his men standing on his toes, attempting to look just a little taller than he really was, ‘I’ve got good news and bad news and really good news.’
The men looked confused.
‘What’s the good news,’ one of them shouted.
‘Ah well,’ said Gideon, ‘the good news is that we have 300 men here, all willing to fight against the Midianites, all loyal and true.’
‘What’s the bad news then?’
Gideon paused, then, ‘Well the teeny tiny little bit of bad news is… there are a few more of them than us. Rather a lot of them actually.’
‘How many? 400? 500?’
‘Er… thousands actually.’
‘Thousands!! So what could possibly be the really good news?’
‘I’m glad you asked that – you’re all going to get a free ram’s horn and a jar with a light in it.’
‘That’ll be a lot of good if we’re dead.’
‘Ah but you won’t be. All you need to do is hold up the light and blow the horns.’
‘Suppose we’re not very good ram’s horn blowers? I’ve never had any lessons.’
‘Doesn’t matter – God will make up for that. Trust me, you just hold up the light, send out the sound and we’ll win. This is God’s battle, not ours.’
‘Could I have a blue ram’s horn?’
‘No. They’re all the same colour…’
‘How about a rainbow one with sparkles?’
‘No! It’s not about the ram’s horn it’s about you. Now be quiet and stay ready for action.’
Judges 7
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