Monday Rewrite: Fotoshoppe Your Faith!

Is your faith looking pale, patchy and colourless?

Are you tired of all those glitches in your belief system?
Annoyed every time your theology crashes?
Well, don’t despair! You can now tart it up with the latest version of Fotoshoppe Your Faith!

This new version 10 contains top tools for making your faith look tidy and shiny and a whole lot better than it really might be. Sharpen up any blurred doctrine. Remove any unwanted red eye of annoyance/fury. Cut and paste some victorious Christian living into your testimony. Enhance your entire outward faith-appearance, making it appear dynamic and vibrant.

New version 10 of Fotoshoppe Your Faith is guaranteed to:

1. Cherry pick the high points, and give the good moments an extra polished happy clappy appearance
2. Helpfully delete the worst moments and recycle the dodgy ones into examples of glorious born-again living
3. Include a dictionary of useful words and phrases like victorious, triumphant, super-spiritual, anointed, pressing-in and overcoming
4. Touch up and embellish your testimony so it sounds far more dramatic and entertaining. Fotoshoppe 10 will also add a few Damascus road moments when the earth shook and there were blinding lights in the sky, passers by were impressively converted and your feet haven’t touched the ground since
5. Add a shiny halo to any recent selfies
6. Conveniently overlook any failures or doubts or misgivings you might have
7. Separate your spiritual and normal life so you can concentrate on making your ‘Christian’ life shine shine shine
8. Place you in any faith building picture. Scenarios include: walking on water, holding back the tide, closing lions’ mouths, preaching to millions, and juggling with poisonous snakes
9. Remove any worry about integrity. No need to be concerned about every day problems such as truth and reality spoiling and discolouring your presentations any more
10. Protect you from well known viruses like honesty, weakness, irony, wrestling and laughing at yourself

So why not get Fotoshoppe 10 today?
Transform every single ordinary moment of the day into a time of excitement and revelation!
Just go to www.AddowbyFaithLift.com.
It’s heavenly! And absolutely FREE!!
(Just requires a donation of £199.99)

[2 Corinthians 12 v 9]

 

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