The Monday Rewrite: A Bit Shepherdist?

Two people (1&2) enter caught up in the following conversation.

1. Three shepherds walked into a building, you’d have thought at least one of them would have seen it coming.
2. That’s not funny.
1. All right, how about this one? Never call a first century shepherd on the phone when he’s doing the ironing.
2. That’s not funny either. In fact it sounds a bit shepherdist to me.
1. All right – how d’you sink a submarine full of shepherds? Knock on the door. Get it? Knock on the door!
2. First century shepherds didn’t have submarines! Or irons!… Or phones!!
1. All right then, how about this, three first century shepherds saw a choir of angels in the sky and then found a baby in an animal trough.
2. Again – that’s not funny!
1. Well… depends on your point of view. Probably sounded funny to a first century night club audience.
2. What?
1. They were the butt of the jokes. Shepherds. The community target. They didn’t smell great because they slept with the sheep, and couldn’t keep pace with all the religious laws. They were the last people on earth you’d have expected to be told about the birth of God’s son. But look what happened. Huge choir of angels, big speech from one of the big-winged guys about a saviour and goodwill and peace on earth, and then – voom!
2. Voom?
1. Voom!! Straight down to Bethlehem and there he is, the promised new baby. easily identifiable because he’s in an animal trough and – more importantly – approachable by a bunch of people who everyone else looks down on. They’d have felt right at home meeting a new king in an animal trough. Sort of place they regularly hung around.
2. Wow!
1. Indeed wow! And that was just the start. It was the template for the rest of his life. A new kind of king – born in a lowly place, no palace or paparazzi or servants. It set the scene for the rest of his time, for meeting ordinary and marginalised people.
2. Incredible.
1. Quite.
2. Just one thing though.
1. What now?
2. They don’t have wings.
1. Who – shepherds?
2. No. Angels. They don’t have wings. You said ‘the big-winged guy’. No wings.
1. Not even small ones?
2. Not even tiny.
1. What about shepherds?
2. Well, they probably ran around the town like they’d been on Red Bull all night after seeing the new baby. And they say that gives you wiiings.
1. True. (pause) Are you being sponsored by Red Bull for this dialogue?

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