Monday Rewrite: An Epiphany Drama

by Dave Broughton

10 Characters :
Narrator, Mary & Joseph And Jesus, Angel, Star, 3 Wise Men (WM 1, WM 2 & WM 3), Herod
Scene 1: Wise Men’s’ study before the journey. Wise Men looking at the Star. Props: 3 Telescopes (wrapping paper centres, one a bit bent and wonky for WM 3. A big silver star on a broom handle. Gifts: Gold and Frankincense). Flip chart with the words of the chorus of ‘500 Miles’ by the Proclaimers on. Orion’s Belt (a belt !) stuck on the wall.
Scene 2 : Herod’s Palace. The Wise Men visit Herod. Props: Herod’s throne. Herod wearing a crown.
Scene 3 : Mary (holding Jesus – or Joseph can hold him), Joseph and Jesus at home. The Wise Men visit. Props : a couple of chairs and a small table to put the gifts on. A cake for WM3)
Scene 4 : Mary and Joseph at home. An angel visits.

Scene 1:
Wise Men looking through telescopes at the Star (standing just off stage next to Orion’s Belt ) WM3 has a decidedly wonky telescope.
WM 1 : Wow, have you two seen that new star over there by Orion’s Belt?
WM 2 : Oh yes. That is a really bright star. I wonder what it means.
WM3 : I can’t see it.
WM1 : My book says it points the way to a new king.
WM 2: My book says it points to a new king who will save the world.
WM 3 : My book was written by Mary Berry and doesn’t say anything about stars, but if you want a cake, or a loaf of bread, then I’m your man.
WM 1 : So, shall we follow this star and find this new king?
WM 2 : Yes. I want to see this saviour of the world.
WM 3 : Shall I bake a cake ?
Wise Men follow the Star out of the room, carrying their gifts.
All sing : 500 Miles (chorus X3 or until they arrive at Herod’s Palace) (Words on flip chart)

Scene 2: Herod sitting on his throne.
The Wise Men re-enter the room and go to Herod.
Herod: Hello there. You look like very wise men. How can I help you?
WM 1 : Mighty King, we have been following a star for over 500 miles. We have looked in our books and know that this star will lead us to a new king, a saviour of the world.
WM 2 : King Herod, your majesty, somehow we have lost sight of the star and wondered if you could tell us where this new king is. We have simply come too far to turn back now without seeing this new king. We have been travelling for a couple of months.
WM 3 : ( to Herod ) Would you like a slice of cake?
Herod : OK. Wait a minute. Let me get this right. You have been following a star for a couple of months and over 500 miles and now you can’t see it anymore and you want me to tell you where your new king is?
(to the audience ) And I thought they were wise men.
WM 1 : That’s right.
WM 2 : Exactly.
WM 3 : ( to Herod ) How about a meringue ?
Herod : I’ll tell you what. I don’t know where this new king is but you go off and find him and then come back here and tell me where he is so that I can then go and kill him (cough cough)…..I mean so I can go and worship him.
Audience boo Herod and the Wise Men leave the room. Make sure the Wise Men have their gifts for when they come back in., WM1 Gold; WM2 Frankincense; WM3 a Cake.
All sing : 500 miles (chorus X 3)

Scene 3 : Mary, Joseph and Jesus at home.
Mary : Hey Joseph, I’ve been thinking.
Joseph : Oh oh !!!!
Mary : Do you remember those shepherds that came the night this little chap was born?
Joseph : Yes I do. They haven’t come back have they? I thought the donkey was a bit smelly but those shepherds were REALLY pongy.
( a Wise Man knocks on the door )
Mary : Who’s that. I really hope those shepherds haven’t come back.
Joseph : I’ll go and see. (goes to the door )
Joseph shouts to Mary : It’s 3 men. In fact, they say they are Wise Men. They have followed a star for a couple of months and hundreds of miles and they say it has stopped over our house. They say they have come to see a new king.
Mary shouts back : Ok. I suppose you better show them in then. Would they like a cup of tea?
Joseph shouts back : No, that’s ok but one of them says he has cake.
Joseph, the Star and the Wise Men ( with their gifts) enter and the Wise Men stand (or kneel) in front of Jesus.
WM 1 : I bring you Gold because I couldn’t think of what present to buy you. ( puts gift on table )
WM 2 : I bring you Frankincense. It smells really nice, so, if those shepherds ever do come back, you can use it to get rid of the smell. ( puts gift on table )
WM 3 : I left the Myrrh at home but I have baked this lovely cake. ( puts cake on table )
Mary : Thank you very much. That’s so kind of you. I don’t know what to say.
Joseph : I’m really sorry chaps, but I was just on my way to work and now I’m going to be late.
WM 1 : Ok. We’ll let you get on.
WM 2 : Nice meeting you. Bye.
WM 3 : I hope you like the cake.
Mary and Joseph : Byeeeee.
Wise Men leave the room. The Star mumbles and ambles out of the room, not sure what it’s supposed to do now.
All sing : 500 miles (chorus X 3)

Scene 4 : Mary and Joseph and Jesus at home.
Mary : First those smelly shepherds, then those Wise Men. Whatever next?
(knocking on the door)
Joseph : I’ll go. ( mutters as he walks to the door ) I’ll never get to work at this rate.
Joseph shouts to Mary : It’s an Angel of the Lord.
Mary : Really?
Joseph shows the Angel in.
Angel : Do not be afraid.
Joseph : You don’t scare me. We’ve already had stinky smelly shepherds and then Wise Men bringing a cake of all things. Trust me, you don’t scare me one little bit. Anyway, how can I help you?
Angel : You must leave and go to Egypt because King Herod is trying to find Jesus because he knows he is going to save everybody and Herod is frightened that Jesus will turn the people against him. Herod has even told his soldiers to kill all the little children they can find.
Joseph : You’re joking!
Angel : Nope. I am deadly, and I mean deadly serious.
Joseph : Ok. I suppose we better get packed and order a removal cart.
Angel : No time for that. You need to leave right this minute.
Joseph : But how. We need to plan things. Where are we going to live? What will we do for money? Will I be able to get a job? What about our family and friends that we leave behind?
Angel : It really doesn’t matter about any of that. You need to go to Egypt and keep safe. This is a very dangerous place for you to be right now. Just go! Now! GO !!
Joseph : Come on Mary. We need to leave right now. We don’t want to have to deal with an angry Angel.
Mary : But how can we.
Joseph : It will be all right. ( next bit with MAJOR emphasis ) I would rather be a refugee than dead.
Mary : I’m coming.
Mary, Joseph and Jesus leave the room.
All sing : 500 miles (chorus X 3)
Narrator : Well, that’s the end of our little Epiphany Nativity Festivity. We hope you all enjoyed it.
(Bring the whole cast to the front ) Applause ( hopefully)

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