Monday Rewrite: Not Your Average Bloke

Two men sit talking in a first century bar.
– It’s your round I believe.
– No! Yours surely!
– I don’t think so. Anyway, you’re in the money.
– What do you mean?
– That job you did this week.
– Ah!
– Yea, round at Jairus’s. Sad I know, but he pays well.
– No, he doesn’t.
– He does! I’ve done some work on his house and that place is practically a palace. Come on, stump up.
– I’m broke.
– What? You spent it all already?
– No. I never got anything.
– From Jairus? He’s a good man, always pays on time.
– Not this job he didn’t. We all got thrown out.
– Serious? What? Were you playing out of tune?
– When have you ever heard me play out of tune?
– D’you wanna list? Come on buy the drinks.
– I can’t.
– I’m warning you. You’re pushing me now.
– I’m not. Honest. The job didn’t work out.
– How could it not work out? You play at funerals all the time. What could go wrong?
– She came back.
– She came… what??!
– His daughter came back. There was no job, no funeral music needed. He had a party instead.
– You should have offered to play for that.
– I should have. But by then Jesus had turfed us all out. We were on the street heading home.
– Why?
– Some of the folks were laughing at him when he claimed the little girl was asleep not dead. So he cleared the place. And then woke her up.
– Had she been sleeping then?
– Nope. She was dead all right. I saw her. Cold. White. Gone.
– (Whistles) And now she’s back?
– Now she’s back.
– Who does something like that?
– Not your average bloke, that’s for sure.
– Too right. Not your average bloke.
– Look, you get the drinks in tonight, and I promise I’ll get them all tomorrow. I’ve got a job over in Bethany. A poor guy called Lazarus has gone. I’ll be playing there for his sisters.

Matthew 9 vv 18-27, John 11 vv 17-44

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