Monday Rewrite: King Solomon on Who Wants to be a Millionaire!

Cast: Host and King Solomon (Sol)

Host: Welcome back to this special edition of Who Wants to Be a Millionaire. Earlier we saw Adam and Eve crash out when they got caught out on that crucial question – Would you swap freedom and contentment for a spoonful of apple crumble? And Simon Peter seemed to be heading for the big finish till he went and fumbled his answer to the question about cutting off a servant’s ear. Now Solomon, you’re on the key question, the final one, get this right and you could win the lot. Are you ready?

Sol: I think so.

Host: Here we go then… If you could have anything in the world what would you choose.
Adele’s bank account…
Donald Trump’s power…
Ed Sheeran’s popularity… or
The wisdom to run the country?
Sol: Hmm… that’s a tricky one. Can I ask the audience?

Host: Sorry. That lifeline went when you were asked who was Goliath.

Sol: Can I go 50/50?

Host: You used that up when you were asked who killed him.

Sol: Phone a friend?

Host: No I’m afraid not, you did that when you were asked what weapon they used.

Sol: Oh. Hmm. Then I think I’ll go for… (pause)… A. the bank account.

Host: Is that your final answer?

Sol: Yes. No. Maybe I’ll go for B. power. No! C. popularity. No. A.!

Host: Final answer?

(There is a long pause)

Sol: Hmmm… bank account… power… popularity… (pause) No! NO! I’ll go D. Yes D. Wisdom! I need wisdom! That’s what I need! Wisdom, wisdom, wisdom! That’s my final answer.

Host: Sure?

Sol: Sure!

Host: D?

Sol: D.

Host: Then I’m afraid I have to tell you Solomon… (pause, Solomon buries his head in his hands sadly) … you’ve just won one million pounds! But we don’t want to give you that! Because you picked the wisdom to run the country, you’ll get fame and honour as well! You’re a winner all round! Congratulations. Now just before you go there’s a couple of ladies over there having a dispute about a baby, (points off stage) they both claim to be the mother, could you just settle it for us?

(They look off stage and freeze, Solomon looking wide-eyed, before both exiting)

1 Kings 3 vv 3-14

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