Monday Rewrite: Flesh

Two men were sitting have a drink at a bar. One looked over at the other, moved his seat closer and said, ‘Don’t tell anyone but I’m actually God in disguise.’ ‘Really?’ said the other shorter, scruffier man. ‘Absolutely, pretty good eh? I mean I worked hard to look like a normal person. I’m obviously not. I mean who’d really want to be human, you know with all the bodily functions and germs and mood swings. This is just an elaborate supernatural get up, so I can hang around with folks and see what they’re up to. Don’t get too close though. You never know what they’ve been reading, or handling, or stepped in. You wouldn’t believe what the average human has under their nails. Wouldn’t want to catch anything, or get picked on, or caught up in their ridiculous arguing. So I loiter on the edges of life, make a few mental notes. Spot a good few folks who could do with a right punishing. Lightning strikes and that sort of malarkey. Make ’em sorry for their multitude of misdemeanours. Avoid the really shabby ones. How about you? You passing through?’ The other man smiled. ‘Oh I’ve come for a while. I am human. Totally. With all the functions and germs and mood swings. I’m on a mission too. To get right stuck in there. You know, step in things and get my hands dirty. Befriend plenty of people. Get stuff under my nails. Had three arguments already this morning.’ The other figure sniffed and moved his stool a little further away. ‘Sorry,’ he said, as he distanced himself, ‘didn’t catch your name.’ The other man smiled again, and held out his germ-infested hand, ‘Jesus,’ he said, ‘nice to meet you.’ Inspired by chapter one of Dirty Glory by Pete Grieg

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