Monday Rewrite: What Have the Christians Ever Done for Us?

Reg is chairing a meeting attended by Stan, Brenda and Barb.

Reg: Those Christians! They’re a waste of space
Stan: Yea, just a bunch of religious nutters. All they do is spoil our fun.
Reg: And not just our fun but the fun of our fathers, and our fathers’ fathers.
Stan: And the fun of our fathers’ fathers’ fathers. And our fathers’ fathers’ fathers’ fathers.
Reg: All right Stan, don’t labour the point. And what have they ever given us in return?
Brenda: (Cautiously, holding a finger in the air) The Trussell Trust?
Reg: (A little wrongfooted) What?
Brenda: The Trussell Trust. You know, helping families…
Reg: Oh yea, yea, they did give us that.
Barb: And Street Pastors.
Stan: Oh yea, Street Pastors, Reg, remember what Friday nights used to be like.
Reg: All right, I’ll grant you that The Trussell Trust and Street Pastors are two things that Christians have done…
Brenda: And Christians Against Poverty.
Reg: Oh well, obviously Christians Against Poverty, Christians Against Poverty goes without saying, doesn’t it? But apart from The Trussell Trust, Street Pastors, and Christians Against Poverty…
Barb: Lunch clubs, mums and toddlers groups, messy church…
Reg: What?
Stan: Yea, and A Rocha, Tearfund, Christian Aid…
Brenda: Not to mention Christmas, I mean we’d certainly miss Christmas…
Barb: And Easter with all them eggs…
Reg: All right, All right, all right, but apart from Street Pastors, Christians Against Poverty, The Trussell Trust, Lunch clubs, mums and toddlers, messy church, A Rocha, Tearfund, Christian Aid, Easter and Christmas… what have the Christians ever done for us?
Barb: Songs of Praise?
Reg: (Frustrated and agitated) Oh Songs of Praise!! Be quiet!!!!

(Feel free to add in or replace the items listed that Christians have done to make it your own sketch.)

If you've appreciated this, why not...

Subscribe on YouTube Follow on X Like on Facebook Contact Dave

Make a comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.