Monday Rewrite: Chaos

You know how it is when your life feels out of control. Others seem to have got hold of the reins and they’re steering you off course, moving the furniture about in a way that’s just not helpful, that you just don’t need. I was in that sort of chaotic place when I bumped into him. Didn’t intend to open up in any way, just wanted to do my job and move on. But he interrupted what I was doing, kept his distance appropriately but asked for my help. Could I get him a drink? He clearly didn’t have any way of getting water for himself, which was a little daft, he should have thought ahead. In a hot a place with a well just a few feet away, and no means of getting a drink! I couldn’t say no, he was thirsty, though I’d have been well within my rights to do so. And that blew the lid off everything. He has a way of cutting to the chase, not like a bull in a china shop smashing his way in, but with a few gentle questions, refusing to give up on finding out about you. With someone else I might have been worried he had another agenda, but it wasn’t like that. Behind his words there was something else, a genuine desire to help, as if he could see the chaos I was living in, the thirst I had for another way forward. And he showed me respect, in a way that no one ever had. Gave me back my dignity. Didn’t appear to judge me or put me down. The opposite really. With every word I felt a little more lifted. I went home that day changed. I still had the chaos to sort of course, but it was as if he’d taken the poison from it, given me a new start. Haven’t been the same since. Life goes on being messy, but I’m different now within the chaos. And I know that he goes on being with me. Quenching that thirst I have for something better. Something more. Giving me back my dignity. A new life.

John 4

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