Monday Rewrite: Grandad

Joachim is chiselling a bit of wood. Anne walks in.

Anne: Joachim, stop that a minute, I’ve got some news for you.

Joachim: Good or bad?

Anne: Well…. both really. Which do you want first?

Joachim: The good news of course.

Anne: You’re going to be a grandad again.

Joachim: Brilliant! What’s the bad news?

Anne: You’re going to be a granddad again!

Joachim: What? Look, I know Salome’s already got two boys and five girls but it’ll be all right. We’re all poor but we’ll make it work.

Anne: Joachim… it’s not Salome.

Joachim: Not… what do you mean?

Anne: It’s Mary.

Joachim: Mary? Mary! What on earth are you talking about. Not our Mary, surely? How? She’s so… quiet and faithful… and young… and well, single!!! Wait a minute, you don’t mean… Joseph? Did he…

Anne: No. Not according to her.

Joachim: Then… please – don’t say it was a Roman soldier? She wasn’t molested was she?

Anne: Joachim, listen. These are strange times. You know how we’ve been crying out for something… for anything… from God.

Joachim: What’s God got to do with it?

Anne: Shush, I’m telling you. You know how we’ve longed to break free from these horrible, oppressive times, crying out for a new prophet to put in an appearance.

Joachim: I know all that! I’ve lived with it for forty years!

Anne: Well, it’s happened. Just not in the way we expected. At least that’s what Mary says, and I believe her. I do. I believe her. Like you say, she’s so quiet and devoted. And brave too. She’s always been brave.

Joachim: Correct me if I’m wrong, but you don’t get pregnant by being brave!

Anne: No you old fool. She saw an angel!

Joachim: She saw a what?

Anne: You know that old saying, ‘Nothing is impossible with God?’ You know that one? D’you believe it?

Joachim: Of course. Just so long as it doesn’t mean my youngest daughter being disgraced and pregnant and thrown out of her community. You know as well as I do Salome, people have tongues like Roman daggers. Any chance to point the finger and they will. Whatever’s happened, if Mary is pregnant as a single girl, people will ostracise her. How can that have anything to do with God?

Anne: He works in strange ways, Joachim. We all know that. Come on, let’s have some bread and wine and I’ll tell you what’s happened.

If you've appreciated this, why not...

Subscribe on YouTube Follow on X Like on Facebook Contact Dave

Make a comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.