Monday Rewrite Overheard at a certain feast of fish and bread:
Right everyone, sit down, just sit down, that’s it, it won’t be long, the food’s coming round.
Er… excuse me.
Yes?
I don’t want to be in a group with this lot.
Sorry?
I wanna be over there. I prefer those people over there.
Look forget about that for now. Something amazing is happening here.
Yea but over there they’ve got a bigger chunk of bread.
Believe me, whatever size of bread, you’re all going to get enough – it’s called a miracle.
Yea, but they’ve got a bigger chunk of miracle. It’s not fair. And their bit of grass is greener than ours. More comfy. Look we’ve got some stones and dusty bits here. See?
Listen – you’re focussing on the wrong thing – this is a miracle, you’re going down in history.
Well could we go down in history with a bigger, neater chunk of bread please.
No! You’re missing the point! You’ll all end up with more than plenty.
Well what about the fish?
What about the fish?
Our bit doesn’t look as nice as theirs over there.
It doesn’t matter!
But suppose our miracle is smaller than theirs.
It won’t be.
Well there’s 52 in our group and only 48 over there. I’ve been counting. You said we’d all be in groups of 50.
So?
So there’s more people to feed over here.
Have you seen the size of it?
The size of what?
The fish! 48 or 52 – it’s not enough without the miracle.
Well they’d better not get a better miracle over there than we get over here.
Agh! A miracle’s a miracle’s a miracle. You’re all getting the same! People will be talking about this day forever. You’ll be famous!
As famous as that other lot?
What other lot?
You know that lot at the wedding in Cana, when he turned to water into wine. Will we be as famous as them?
Aggghh! Just shut up and eat your bread and fish. Look, here’s your bit now.
I’ll never eat that much! It’s way too big, have you got a smaller portion?
I’ll give you more than a smaller portion in a minute…
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