Monday Rewrite: A Discovered Email from Abigail to David

smartsassystunning@paran.free&single
to
goodlookingvagabond@roadster.wandering

Dear David

Don’t know if you remember me. I’m Nabal’s wife. I bought you that feast when you were starving. My husband was well… bit of an idiot really. Nearly got us all killed. Refused to help you and your men. Anyway, I stopped you killing him, because – hey – you didn’t want his innocent blood on your hands really. He might be an idiot but he’s not a criminal. Or rather he wasn’t. Now he’s not even an idiot. He’s just a corpse. He dropped dead ten days after you’d been around. What you might call, a bit of a rich fool. God required his soul, methinks.

Now I know I don’t sound much like the grieving widow, but that’s probably because I’m not. I have to be honest, I married Nabal for his money, not his heart. As you’re well aware a woman’s got to eat. I didn’t dream of falling into the arms of a rich idiot when I was growing up, I had visions of running off with adventurous heroes and brave princes. Which is where you come in.

This girl still needs to eat. And I know a good man when I see one. You’ll be king one day, I’m sure of it. I’ve heard that song they sing. The one about you and Saul. The one about you being the bigger hero. I won’t flatter you, but a good man needs a good woman.

You know where I live.

Abigail

[1 Samuel chapter 25]

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Comments

  1. Tim Wakeling says:

    Hehe – that’s brilliant. Though I did worry your blog had been hacked at first when I read the email addresses at the top! 😉

  2. Dave Hopwood says:

    Ah yes! See what you mean! 🙂

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