Monday Rewrite: Barn Fever

‘Welcome one and all, family and er… interested parties… of Mr Richard Fool for the reading of his will, following his sad and mysterious demise after the completion of his final storage barn for squirreling away his obscene wealth. As you know Rich Fool was not a man who suffered er… fools gladly, and he was a man of great wealth, in land, funds and er… barns. He had a lot of barns. More than he needed, it turned out. He spent so much time and energy building his barns he ran out of time for living or enjoying time with others. I believe he had no real friends or acquaintances, as he spent much of the time talking to himself, which is what brought him to the conclusion he needed to build an estate full of barns. Barns, barns, barns. Barns everywhere. He’d had a ferociously good crop that year and sadly this only led to him worrying about losing it all. I heard it said that, as he watched his workers gather the massive harvest in, he mumbled to himself, “If this lot gets eaten by mice it’ll be the worst year ever.” I’m not sure that even the Pied Piper could have rustled up enough rodents to munch their way through even a fraction of that bumper crop. Rich Fool was a man who had been blessed with so much, and it’s clear to so many of us that he had shedloads to share, sadly it just wasn’t clear to him. Anyway, on with the will, are you sitting comfortably? Well, you don’t need to, because it’s shockingly short and sweet. “I leave everything,” he says “to… me! Me me me. Yes,” he says, “it’s all mine. All mine mine mine.” And that’s it, somehow the old fool thought he could take the lot with him, so it looks like the mice will be fed well for the next couple of decades. I think there are a few barns going spare though if anyone would like to inherit a few of those?’

Luke 12

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  1. Senan of Somerset says:

    Nice one Dave. Reminds me of the following quote by the Dalai Lama.

    The Dalai Lama, when asked what surprised him most about humanity, he said:

    Because he sacrifices his health in order to make money.
    Then he sacrifices money to recuperate his health.
    And then he is so anxious about the future that he does not enjoy the present;
    the result being that he does not live in the present or the future;
    he lives as if he is never going to die, and then dies having never really lived.”

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