Imagine If People Walked The Way They Drive…

A man is trying to hurry along a busy pavement but others in front slow him up.

Come on! I haven’t got all day. Hurry up! What do you think you’re doing? There’s no speed limit you know. Oh no! Come on! Don’t stop to talk to them. I don’t care if they are your long lost brother from Australia. Come on! And don’t pick up that bit of litter. I’m in a hurry! Can’t you see? No need to pay any attention to that lady struggling with the buggy. She’s fine. Yea, maybe it is triplets but she’ll get by… Oh for goodness sake… I’m just going to overtake, I don’t care that the pavement’s narrow, I’m coming through. I’m coming through… ooh… just scraped you there on the elbow! Oops! And there goes your shopping bag! Sorry! Sorry about that… just one of those things. Have you got pedestrian insurance? NO. Oh well, accidents happen! I gotta keep moving. Oh no… now what? What’s this other idiot doing? Oy! Don’t stand in the middle of the pavement looking lost. And why are you reversing like that? Move forward! Hang on… that’s not a policeman over there is it? Oh… hello officer. What? NO. No it wasn’t me shouting. I wouldn’t shout at other pedestrians.

Policeman crosses the road and approaches.

Would you mind just stopping walking for a moment there, sir.

What seems to be the problem, officer?

You were walking rather fast then weren’t you, sir?

Me? No.

I think you were. Have you been drinking?


Yes, you know – caffeine. You look as if you’ve had more than a few coffees this morning.

Well I might have had one or two.

I see. I’m going to have to give you a speeding ticket, sir. And book you for reckless walking. You were walking way too fast on this pavement, and it’s not wide enough for overtaking, is it? Plus you were waving your arms about as you travelled. Would you like to go back for a minute and help that lady pick up her spilt shopping? That was you, wasn’t it sir, squeezing past too quickly, and she must be 90 if she’s a day. Go on…

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  1. Tim Wakeling says:

    Very true. 😀 Thing is, some people really do walk the way they drive…

  2. Dave Hopwood says:

    Hadn’t considered that Tim! But you could well be right there!

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